What I just have realized...

I appreciate when people end up a relationship with the same kind of politeness they started it with.

 

 

ON BEAUTY

....

All these things have you said of beauty.

Yet in truth you spoke not of her but of needs unsatisfied,

And beauty is not a need but an ecstasy.

It is not a mouth thirsting nor an empty hand stretched forth,

But rather a heart enflamed and a soul enchanted.

It is not the image you would see nor the song you would hear,

But rather an image you see though you close your eyes and a song you hear though you shut your ears.

It is not the sap within the furrowed bark, nor a wing attached to a claw,

But rather a garden for ever in bloom and a flock of angels for ever in flight.

People of Orphalese, beauty is life when life unveils her holy face.

But you are life and you are the veil.

Beauty is eternity gazing at itself in a mirror.

But you are eternity and your are the mirror.

Kahlil Gibran, The Prophet

 

 

 

° I don't know whether is this the right explanation...

 I only know what beauty isn't  °
 

 

 

 

two faces of Brno

lovely vegetable market
 Saturday morning 

welcome in hell
Saturday morning one week later 

....

It's familiar to most of us. Sometimes, we surprise ourself while talking the same way as our parents, giving the same phrases or just saying them in the same tone of voice as our mother or father.  It can be pleasant, funny, sometimes it can scare the hell out of you, though. 

This does not apply only to my parents , but also to other people once involved in my life.
It depends on what they've said or on the way they've done it.

I remember the most significant sentences, dialogues ... For some reason, I recall those with the negative subjects mostly, because it hurt me...
Some of them sound in my ears even after years and I cannot get rid of them...

And I wonder whether my voice saying something meaningful or hurtful does sound in someone else's ears this way too...

I hope not.

I 

will

do

my

best

to

not 

end 

up 

saying 

things 

I 

once 

didn't 

want 

to 

hear 

myself...

l l a f | f a l l

...don't wanna stop flying!

I lost two earrings last week...
First of them was a beautiful black origami bird....
The second one, an earring made of fine brown feathers...
I hate myself for being so distracted....plus
Is there any hidden meaning, sign?... as both of them were somehow related to birds and feathers, should I be afraid? Somebody wants to clip my wings?

Find a DIFFERENCE

Hackchaise in the streets of Vienna and Antalya...

>>find a difference<<

I have to admit it was pretty hard to put up with the overwhelming kitsch of turkish streets....

 

 

 

 

 

@ last week remindings...# who says what...

some say about me...
you are way too tough and self-willed.
I am. I gotta be. Experience has taught me. 
that is the only way how to overcome all of these shitty situations coming in my way, isn't it...?

Chinese say...
your biggest enemy is yourself...
I have been living with this bearing it on my mind for a pretty long time. That's necessary, but!!!
I am sure it sounds good vice versa too. Could it be that I'd become my best friend for a while?

Elliott Smith sings...
nobody broke your heart
you broke your own 'cos you can't finish what you start
nobody broke your heart
if you're alone, it must be you that wants to be apart
....try to think about it, please....my recommendation to those who are lost in their thoughts...
Thom Yorke sings...
I don't care what the future holds
cause I'm right here and I'm today
I stick with this.

And he says...
do not analyse everything, woman!
...and he's right @

Ab.sur.dity

Curiosity has landed on the Red planet.

I am moved, impressed...
While reading the article in a newspaper, I transposed my mind to a very special planet called "my childhood"...

As a kid, I used to be incredibly fascinated by astronomy and cosmonautics, and yes, I wanted to be a cosmonette...

As far as I remember,  this profession captivated nearly one third of my classmates at that time, the rest of them were all for dustmen, firemen and princesses, naturally. 
Anyway, here's one thing, I can recall really brightly. 
At that time, except that I was astonished by everything concerning space, stars and cosmonautics, I was also deeply convinced, that everything out there must be much BETTER than on our planet. I was simply sure, that there is another earthlike planet. And LIFE. I took it for granted...
Since I was really a small child, it was crystal clear and pure thought....

Not that I would have lost my enthusiasm for cosmonautics, I've just opted for a little bit different kind of career and almost forgot about that childish dream and pure belief.

Today, the absurdity and foolishness have come to light....
While reading about Curiosity, there was a moment, which probably didn't last a split-second, however, in that moment, I felt exactly the same way as I used to feel as a child. 
I was sure that there must be another earthlike planet better than ours and I was thinking of it as if it could be the place where I would finally find the peace...

I have never found companion so companionable as solitude

"Society is commonly too cheap. We meet at very short intervals, not having had time to acquire any new value for each other. We meet at meals three times a day, and give each other a new taste of that old musty cheese that we are. We have had to agree on a certain set of rules, called etiquette and politeness, to make this frequent meeting tolerable and that we need not come to open war. We meet at the post-office, and at the sociable, and about the fireside every night; we live thick and are in each other's way, and stumble over one another, and I think that we thus lose some respect for one another. Certainly less frequency would suffice for all important and hearty communications..."

Reading Thoreau feels like blessing in the last few days...someone understands me.

No that I haven't been enjoying the company of my closest lately, I have... I only think that the only person with the required and sufficient insight is me, myself...

Also, I read  Potter and Heath concurrently and its seems to me like they criticize this individualistic romanticism of Thoreau way too strongly...

Will see, who is going to win the battle at the end of the week@

Anyway, I am opting for a solutide for a couple of days...

fucked up generation

Lost Generation
Beat Generation
Flower Generation
Fucked up Generation...

Find differences...

There was °war, there was °rebellion, there was °love to beat everything....

And guess what it is now? It's just °boredom.
That's probably the reason, why does our generation have the longest epithet...

looking for a new mantra....

Girls roadtrip/ relaxing/ lots of reading/ swimming/ hiking/ drinking good wine / tasting pizza in Slovenia, Austria and Italy @repeatedly/ the same thing with coffee @all  day long)....

Travelling within Europe always makes me think about the ubiquitous uniformity...

and staying in posh and wealthy places like Velden  makes me think about generally accepted conformism... 

Have you noticed? ...people start to be nice right after you cross the czech border...that only makes me feel sad, I reckon.

I've visited ravishing places and met amazing people who seemed to love each other so selflessly, unconditionally...!A wonderful inspiration for someone, who has lost the "hope" almost completely... I only wonder why did my believe in Freudism become so much stronger during the last week...what a contradiction (!?)

Having beautiful lakes and mountains around is definitely the best thing one can do to live a healthier life...I am quite envious... I wish I was born in Alps...

Hanging out with my friends is fun, we have to do something about that destructive collective smoking, though.

As for the pizza and coffee, yes, Italy wins... but Italien community living in Austria and Slovenia does not lag behind...

Next holiday must be more about sea&sun&solitude

Síla v nás

Stále častěji se ke mně dostávají články, ve kterých Žižek, Fischer, Krugman, další a další kriticky hodnotí úpadek kapitalismu, jeho důvody, současný i budoucí stav. Porovnávají jej zas a znova s marxistickým přístupem a snaží se, třebaže nejsou z prvních, úpěnlivě vypotit další možné důvody, proč je který z nich lepší, efektivnější, stabilnější….Analyzují příčiny, dopady, rozdíly. Pořád dokola. A směřují k tomu samému a tudíž, že oba systémy selhaly.

Síla je v lidu

Kniha Kup si revoltu! Josepha Heathe a Andrewa Pottera popisuje chybu kontrakultury, rozuměj – levicových rebelů napříč současností, jako spočívající v přesvědčení, že základem kontrarevoluce musí být duchovní revoluce a vnitřní proměna, jež jsou hlubší než jen povrchní institucionální změny. Přitom, dle autorů, pokroku vřešení chudoby, lidských práv a sociální a zdravotní péče se vždy dalo dosáhnout pouze v reálné politice, která je samozřejmě nudná, zdlouhavá a kompromisní. Problém je, že zdánlivá a proklamovaná hloubka vnitřní proměny většinou končí u toho, že nosíte jen jiný účes a oblečení než vaše okolí…

Tady jsou autoři pro mě více než přesvědčiví a to z jednoho prostého důvodu. Kladu si otázku, zda se myslitelé a intelektuálové dnešní doby, intelektuálové typu Žižka, který krom porovnávání dvou výše zmíněných ekonomických systémů zarytě studuje Marxe či Mao Ce Tunga a rozebírá jeho texty do úporných podrobností, spekuluje nad jejich interpretací a přitom se svá díla ještě snaží popularizovat, jestli takoví myslitelé jsou těmi, kteří nám zplodí systém nový…? Jistě, je důležité poznat chyby předchozích přístupů, systémů, konceptů, i těch dnes již zatracovaných, vystihnout jejich klady a zápory právě proto, abychom mohli dojít onoho poučení či osvícení těsně před tím, než budeme mít na jazyku jméno a koncept systému nového.

Síla je však, dle mého názoru, spíše v obrodě každého z nás. Jestliže Potter a Heath pojmenovávají jako jednodušší volbu reálnou politiku a vyzdvihují její nudnost, zdlouhavost a kompromisy, je nutné najít lék na to, jak tuto změnit. Dnes jsem narazila na výtah z přednášky Alaina Badioua, francouzského filozofa, který se zabývá "štěstím v politice". A kladu si otázku, k čemu má ve své podstatě vést ta výše zmiňovaná duchovní revoluce a proměna? Co je cílem každého člověka? Je to štěstí (?). Článek s názvem Štěstí v politice mě pak přirozeně zaujal právě proto, že pouze skrze politiku se lze dopracovat k nastolení systému nového, k té vytoužené změně světa, o které autor přednáší. Badioua hovoří o tom, že pro přerušení politického systému je třeba, aby byl účel politiky nezávislý na uzmutí státní moci. Je přesvědčen, že změna světa a společenské nepokoje, jejichž svědky jsme v poslední době, vyplývají z toho, že tato shromáždění a demonstranti nedůvěřují nařízené definici politiky. O politickém štěstí je podle něj možné mluvit tam, kde zjišťujeme, že nepotřebujeme stát. Autor volá po přepracování konceptů vztahu politiky a moci…Vracíme se tedy k lidu a společnosti samotné, její síle, moci, organizaci a schopnostem pohnout sama sebou?

Zdá se mi to nebo Potter a Heath na to opravdu přišli…?

Jsem přesvědčená, že oba dva nejvýše zmíněné systémy a charakter politiky, moci či čehokoliv, co s sebou nesly, selhaly právě díky základním lidským vlastnostem, které jsou popsány v rozsáhlých racionalistických teoriích a přístupech, v psychologii, sociologii a dalších behaviorálních či společensko-vědních disciplínách…jsou to lidé, společnost, kdo selhává. Jsem tedy přesvědčena, že pokud je pro vytvoření systému nového opravdu něco potřeba, je to osobní transformace každého z nás.

Je možné, že jsem ty texty jen špatně pochopila, ale to podivné a všeobjímající víření, které v poslední době hromadně pociťujeme, mi napovídá....

Accelerations & Decelarations

... about the everyday paradox which I came across as I was thinking about time... 

Lately I have been using time related phrases way too much...
Time will show you...Time works wonders...Take your time...Time is the only cure...
Saying those phrases to people who asked me for help or a piece of advice, I was thinking about their suffering, affliction, feelings...and the fact, that all those phrases and cliches, I used, seem to be unpleasently truthful. In difficult life situations, time hangs heavy on your hands...and you can only wait and wait and wait...
It seems  to you like time slows down...

On the other hand...
I've been going through some kind of thinking shift in the last few months, reading a lot about spiritual evolution...  That's how I came across some of those beautiful and profound articles related to changing times, our personal evolution, transformation of relationships and so on. Later, I realized, that most of these articles had had one thing in common. They're describing the acceleration of time allegedly perceived by people with increasing intensity. It's happening. It's ongoing. Right now.
Could we count up, how many times a day or a week we think to ourselves: "Gosh, I wish I had more time" Everything is so fast..Everything seems to be speeding up...

So here comes that forementioned PARADOX...
Most of us constantly complain how fast everything is and simultaneously we are desperately longing for the time to move faster...
Do our troubles have really  something to do with time moving faster or slower..with time whatsoever????

{< When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves  >}

frantisek skala / olomouc / 062012 @ amazing

http://www.frantaskala.com/en/

NEVER DO THAT!!!

You know that situation. You're waiting for something or someone for a pretty long time, you left your book, work files and magazines at home and there is nothing else to do but play with your mobile phone.

In that case, I warn you! If you have, as well as me, more than 4 thousands messages in your phone, don't you even think about starting reading them!!!!

For your own sake.

Otherwise you could end up the same way as me...Ruining all I have been trying to achieve during the last few months.

Sometimes you think you are over something... that you moved forward, but  you can very easily find out, you did not.

S a t u r d a y b r u n ch

Hangover

Hiding
Helplessness
Hesitation
Hunch
Happiness

H is the letter

what are we longing for?

I am speechless when it comes to this piece...
Unfortunately, I was not given such a gift as Pina and her friends were (as for the dancing skills), but it doesn't matter...She seems to be so outstanding to me because she believed that everyone can and should! act out emotions... She was working with her dancers bearing this idea in mind and the result speaks for itself, I guess...
Once again, someone reminded me of how treacherous it can be when you are not expressing yourself, especially regarding the feelings. Pina's fellows talk about it a lot in the movie...
Several months ago I came across this article, concerning the 5 most common things people regret when they are dying here. Suppresing the feelings  is one of them...
As for the documentary, I hear it a lot that it only shows Pina in the position of Goddess, far away from the person she really was and that the dancer's narrative is repetitive and monotonous...
I take it from the positive point of view...obviously, she didn't work only with the bodies of the dancers, she worked with their inner world, souls and emotions too...and they managed to show us what she was to them the best way I could imagine...

The most important question is what are we longing for, once she said...

If life gives you lemons...Make lemonade!

While listening to Riva Starr...

°...watching this video http://www.npr.org/event/music/147566741/eric-harland-and-avishai-cohen-scrap-metal-improv ~ of Avishai Cohen (the trumpeter) reminded me of jazz festival in Brno which I've been looking forward to visiting so MUCH that I postponed my bussines trip to Barcelona  to the beginning of May...°

°As "THEY" removed some of my posts from this blog, I am thinking about ACTA again... The message I've got was something like ble bla blu bli, DCMA, bhu beh ban bdi fje and,.... WHATEVER...
I do not support ACTA. I am more than willing to pay for music and movies and other stuff, but give me a reasonable price, good quality and FUCKING FREEDOM to choose, what I want to listen to, where and when I want to do so...°

°Students have been protesting against the reforms in czech education system today...I would appreciate if people here, except attending the protest march, were able to say exactly, what are their points and how to get things done in a different, better way...complaining, complaining....but nobody is able to bring up some kind of new ideas, solution...or at least, constructive critique...°

°If I could!!!! I would force the president of this republic to stop speaking publicly... at any price...seriously°

°...next weekend Merano, Italy...I only wonder, if its a good idea to visit a city of flowers in winter...whatever... its also a spa town, so our old tired bodies will enjoy it for sure...°

°I discovered a wonderful café in my workplace's neighbourhood ~ http://www.facebook.com/kafezastavka....they have lovely bakery too...amazing!°

°...have got back to running after a looooong long time => new running shoes needed...just to retain the motivation°
°...There is one good thing coming with this terrible gelid winter we went through in the last few weeks...We can feel like its spring already, when it gets "only" 10 degrees warmer...I can take some of the extra layers off, ride the bike and be all happy that I do not suffer from spring fever this year...°

°I miss the way people hug in Berlin....coming back soon°
.

~without rhyme or reason~

Boyfriend went vegan and knocked the bottom out of me....why, PETA, why?

Six years ago, I made a decision to not ever visit the Brno City Theater again. Why?

Every now and then someone gives me a ticket for free...
In 2006, some of my friends working in this theater, were persuading me that this play (Odysseus) was going to be great and they gave me two tickets, so...

http://youtu.be/m0vQOnHW0Kc

Although the reputation of the Theater was very poor at that time,  I decided to give it a chance.

We, my boyfriend and me, went to see this play and we couldn't believe what we saw...

It was the element of sexualization permeating the whole play, starting with the script and ending with the clothes the actors were wearing... Moreover, the performance of most of them was pathetic...

The scene was spectacular, but watching the half-naked actress (wearing sexy bikini), singing and dancing the way worse than any random pole-dancer does, just made us sick and we left the performance very soon...

On our way out of that place, we noticed all of their posters hanging on the walls in the courtyard...Every single of them was more or less matching the impression we got from the play we just witnessed...

Having the white paper with the word "SEX" on it, would probably do the same service and it could be much cheaper then (as it is the City of Brno's budget we are talking about here!), I guess...

PETA. The organization I fully support  in respect of treating animals...

I don't like this campaign not only because it reminds me of the nightmarrish, overhelmingly sexualized play of the Brno City Theater...

Much more I don't like the way they joined violence, vegan way of life, sex, men in the role of aggressors and women in the role of victims .. altogether in this campaign... I dont like it the most because it does give a freakish impression about vegans too...

There are so many ways better than this one to enghliten people on the way of life without killing or abusing animals...

Thumb down, PETA!

http://www.bwvaktboom.com/

..when my dream comes true...

Incredible  Days of Russian Culture in Brno

Ever since I moved to Brno in 2002, I came across an ad for this event every single year ...

Back to 2002 and some years afterwards, I didn't have enough money to buy me a ticket...Later, I didn't have time, so I always missed the opportunity to go there and see it.
This year, I didn't have neither money nor time, but I  made it!

...and  it was probably the best performance I've ever seen...

Moreover, I was pleased with the fact, that the performance of the National Theater's  prima ballerina (Edita Raušerová) was almost as good as the one of the prima ballerina from Saint Peterburg Theater!
I highly recommend everyone to go next year!
B R A V O!

DUgONG - which planet is she coming from...?

http://vimeo.com/35460011

'Ever since my house burnt down, I see the moon more clearly, I gazed upon the Evens that have fallen in me, I saw Evens that I had held in my hands, but let go, I saw promises I did not keep, Pains I did not sooth,Wounds I did not heal, tears I did not shed,I saw deaths I did not mourn,Prayers I did not answer, doors I did not open, doors I did not close, Lovers I left behind, And dreams I did not live, I saw all that was offered to me, that I could not accept. .''

poor dorothy...

...I only wonder how many hearts did SHE break in her lifetime...












symptom recital
dorothy parker

I do not like my state of mind;

I'm bitter, querulous, unkind.

I hate my legs, I hate my hands,

I do not yearn for lovelier lands.

I dread the dawn's recurrent light

I hate to go to bed at night.

I snoot at simple, earnest folk.

I cannot take the gentlest joke.

I find no peace in paint or type.

My world is but a lot of tripe.

I'm disillusioned, empty-breasted.

For what I think, I'd be arrested.

I am not sick, I am not well.

My quondam dreams are shot to hell.

My soul is crushed, my spirit sore

I do not like me any more.

I cavil, quarrel, grumble, grouse.

I ponder on the narrow house.

I shudder at the thought of men...

I'm due to fall in love again.

http://www.poemhunter.com/dorothy-parker/poems/

B E A U T I F U L D E S T R U C T I O N

Do we need an ending for something new to begin....?

Often I find myself thinking this way....I feel like I need to see one specific thing coming to its end to be able to begin with a new one...
More often, unfortunately, I find myself being sad to see something's ending...especially when it happens in a hurtful way...

It supposed to be one-night-long destruction with a "new start" afterwards but it turned out to be all about l o v e, f r i e n d s  and  l e m o n a d e....

Being beautifully destroyed, I say NO, I don't think something has to be over before something new can begin...

Charlie Brooker I'm all for sharing, but why the online obsession with revealing every detail of your life?

...You know how annoying it is when you're sitting on the train with a magazine and the person sitting beside you starts reading over your shoulder? Welcome to every single moment of your future. Might as well get used to it. It's an experience we'll all be sharing.
http://gu.com/p/354ad

OLAFUR ARNALDS - Við vorum smá...

I remember it well. I asked you not to go. but all I heard was the screaming silence of the wind, and just like the wind will always blow through the leaves, I will always remember this as our last — lost — chance....

Please, have one on me, Joanna!

I love her squeky voice and her storytelling...For me, this is nr. 1 for 2011. You can discover new things with every single listen.... Love it!
http://youtu.be/iZ-aj3UDaG0

Julian Barnes The Sense of Ending

I haven't been touched by book so deeply in a really long time...A while ago, it was von Trier's Melancholia what left me so unhinged....Now, this one is my favourite and will stay for a while, I guess...
What you end up remembering isn’t always the same as what you have witnessed....

I D O N ' T L O V E Y O U B U T I A L W A Y S W I L L

Again.

Something ends and gives me new ideas, fresh thoughts and.... a lot of misery, naturally....

A couple of months ago, I came to this place with my head full of unresolved crap from previous year which I hoped this cool city could have solved for me...

I wanted it to be a peaceful time... just me, my research - I always wanted to do, lots of yoga, couple of friends, maybe some newcomers, good food...just me and the coolest city in the world...

Well, I have no clue what happened, but this place somehow managed it. It changed my plan, my mood, my mind, I would dare to say, my life, but no, not really...

I spent most of my time here sitting in the amazing architectural gem of Grimm Zentrum ( its not the top-notch regarding the functionality, though), the ontologicaly secure  place for all those students living in this awesome city of Awesomeness....

After a short while, I realized, I did not want to sit on my ass whole days, trying to convince myself I am working...because, some days, naturally, I wasnt...

In fact, my fingers got sticked to my touchpad and keyboard and my time seemed to be defining itself by the regularity of checking my facebook profile, email box and some piece of newspaper, in this chronological order... and then I went for a coffee or cigarette or both...and then it started again.

Me, person once myself defining as nature lover, I found myself sitting on my butt for more or less whole days doing nothing but gazing at the display, waiting for it to destroy my sight completely...

So with a toughtful help of some of my friends, I went out and I experienced Something...

Also, I visited this beautiful cost of Ostsee...where I enthusiastically rediscovered the country side lover inside me and realized that the beauty around had nothing to do with us...I corroborated why I love nature so much. People would never be able to create such a perfect and pure beauty....only nature itself can.

But anyway, even this trip couldnt bring me a highly expected fulfilment so I went on with the good old feeling "I need to DO something else here..."

And then it's started.... One fucked up thing and...

.....do

.......mi

..........no

..............effect

So, with an elegant giant leap, I dodge this period of "lucy nr. 1 fighting lucy nr. 2 and both of them fighting the third one, who was, btw, always one step ahead of them " and move on to the impatiently anticipated outcomes....

This city couldn't help me with anything, indeed....The place played a big role itself, though.

At the end, I concluded I have no idea what I really want to do in my life. For sure, I cannot carry on this half-solution anymore...

I lost some of my important ties, beliefs, the anchorage... the assurance, where my home is...In fact, everything WAS! doubted during those last few months...I have no clue where do I belong now....where I want to stay, move, go, die and be reborn again...

I found and rediscovered wonderful people, friends who are grown up enough to teach me more about life in general ...Those, for whom I will keep on coming back..

I've speeded up my smoking, stopped eating chocolate and interrupted my yoga flow...rediscovered my passion for cemeteries and started to feel quite insecure among outnumbered retired people...
I found out there is not a single czech goodie I would have missed here and, yeah, I still don't like talking on the phone!

I am sure I dont want to spend more than 30 minutes a day paying attention to friends online anymore, I'd rather see them face to face once in a while..

At least for a moment, I started to believe again, that there is a possibility for man and woman to have a friendship...

This is the lesson I have been taught.

Yesterday I recalled this part of the book of Julian Barnes concerning the accumulation of losses in our life. I agree with him. You always loose what you stake plus the sum itself.. multiplication.

But there is still possibilty to gain....And that counts.

Yes,

I found a place...another one. So Unidentifiable to me that I can hardly write its name....

B E R L I N, I  D O N ' T   L O V E   Y O U   B U T   I   A L W A Y S   W I L L