with love..

My lovely Jess!

I wish I could send you a postcard or letter and make you as happy as you make me every time I get one from you.

The fact you are constantly moving from place to place, not having a permanent address, makes it very difficult, so I have decided to let you know this way...

You will understand when I admit, your adventures make me a bit envious sometimes, but I can hardly think of another person who would deserve it more than you. You live up to the idea of life you imagined for yourself and that requires a lot of strength, courage and making away with all the fears that usually force us to give up on our dreams. I admire you for that and wish to get that strong some day soon as well.

My dear, be sure, I am very happy our paths crossed too. You would not believe, how often I recall our time together on the rooftop and afterwards, I always ponder on how badly I want to get back there! Once, probably while travelling up North and having the amazing nature scenery around you, you wrote me "...so much wilderness up here". Reading it, I was sitting in my flat in the middle of this city and I promised myself that next year, I will at least once more go and get the FEELING, this furtive conformity has forced out of my life, again.
It would be great to join you at some point and catch up. Maybe I will. Until then, I wish you all the best, my dear and send good vibes, lots of love and good energy your way.

Merry Christmas, dear Jess and remember "Breathe in LIFE, breathe out LOVE"

Lu

PS: Please, keep them coming ...(and when you find the right place for your farm, let the first thing you make for yourself be a nice wooden mail box, ok?:-)

Southerners ...

I wish I could be more spontaneous sometimes...

I was sitting at the bar with my colleagues in a beautiful restaurant in Cava Baja in Madrid and for more than one hour I was trying not to pay attention to a guy, who sitting on the opposite side of the bar was alternatively staring at me, the bar desk, back at me and so on...
I finished the last glass of Rioja and as I was about to leave, this guy came to me and gave me a piece of paper while saying: "Please, don't ask me why".

Only then I realized what he was doing the whole time...

Even though I hope my eyes don't look so sad, it is a beautiful picture and I wish I was able to say something...or at least ask "why".

Anyway, Mr. Unknown, thank you for reminding me of spontaneity.

I am such a tight-face sometimes, gah.

...

Nothing is more weird than if a person you feel uncomfortable around tries to comfort you...

O mužích, lovu a jiné příběhy

2 dny, 6 žen, 0 můžů, 100% legrace

"...No a kdyby do lesa na lov šla ženská, tak by na toho mamuta vyrobila past, za hodinu by byla zpátky a furt by se ještě stihla postarat o jeskyni i děti"

"Vyvrtám lepší díru do zdi než on"

"Já bych si tak zarodila..."

Tolik kontradikce na jednom místě, a v tak krátkém časovém rozpětí, se dá zažít jen zřídka...

chyba spojení

"Už nemáme spojení s ničím. Nemáme spojení se zemí, s vlastním tělem, prostě s ničím. Jo...možná s monitorem."

D. Štědroňský, Ostrava, Yogafall, 2013

thinking about time is a waste of time, sometimes

...well, this sentence was definitely a highlight of this excellent workshop! It woke me up! I had no idea there were so many philosophers working in the European structures, especially for the European Commisison. WOW!

@

....among all those men wearing a suit two sizes bigger than they actually are and carrying handbags their mamas had bought for them, he looked like an angel sent from DESIGN heaven...

unearthliness

I love morning swims in the sea....

When the sea is calm and quiet, the water cold enough to wake you up and the air windless. I love the feeling, when I first touch the cold water, swearing to myself I won't go any further in it, but usually, right after that, I do. I sink under the water table and it feels like getting into entirely different kind of world. World of one colour, simple structures and  ethereal creatures...

Counting down....6 days to go...

~

Science-fiction # Daily reality

It is an ordinary summer morning and a man is leaving his apartment on his way to work. He closes the door, locks it and starts walking the street. It is a typical street of Brno in the middle of summer - all is under construction. The whole city is dug up and so is this particular street. There are holes and heaps of building materials everywhere, so he is forced to walk the very tiny part of the street through...

..And there are female construction workers everywhere. This man is wearing shorts and light t-shirt, naturally, it is hot summer. All those female workers are stairing and leering at him, calling him names, catcalling, shouting obscene compliments and vulgar things at him... And this man, he doesn't feel flattered, he doesn't feel like he is being admired, not at all,  he feels objectified and insulted...Surprised?

Sounds like a science-fiction to you? Yes, to me too, but try to replace the man with a woman and the FEMALE construction workers with MALE construction workers and you will get an ORDINARY morning many of us experience every day.

summer it up...

Asaf Avidan - breathlessly listening to this guy

"Different Pulses"

My life is like a wound I scratch so I can bleed
Regurgitate my words, I write so I can feed
And Death grows like a tree that's planted in my chest
Its roots are at my feet, I walk so it won't rest

Oh, Baby I am Lost...

I try to push the colors through a prism back to white
To sync our different pulses into a blinding light
And if love is not the key. If love is not a key.
I hope that I can find a place where it could be

I know that in your heart there is an answer to a question
That I'm not as yet aware that I have asked
And if that tree had not drunk my tears
I would have bled and cried for all the years
That I alone have let them pass

Oh, Baby I am yours...

HOME

I simply love coming back home

Bye bye, my academic career

“Arjuna, you need to act without any attachment to the fruit of your efforts.”

Bhagavad Gītā

I am suffering from this unbearable indecisiveness of mine. Another big decision to make is waiting for me - to proceed with my study or not to? 

It's not up to me, actually, others are going to decide it soon, but if they come up with the conclusion that I can continue, will I? Should I?

I have been thinking about it, dreaming about it, counting the pros and cons, observing my feelings about it...ugh.

I have spent more than 5 years doing the research more or less intensively.  Less intensively in the last three years, I have to admit. I could describe in details, how does it look like and what does it mean to do a doctoral degree in Czech. No excuses I want to make, NOT anymore,  it's just the way it's. 

The only thing I am sure about right now is the realization of how much I do love geography. I love how it follows me as my shadow everywhere I go, naturally, of course, it is a spatial discipline, right:-)?!! I look through the eyes of a geographer on every single place I visit, I live, I feel, perceive.. I love reading the amazing work of other geographers and find it astoundingly inspiring! But I am not the one, who would or should be writing those articles, I think. I have to overcome my ego finally and admit to myself that my place is on the other side.
... realizing that, I feel sad, like I have wasted all that time, energy and  money!!! and  my ego is SO much  strugling for its nutriment!

But despite the fact, it took me more than five years to become aware of it, I can say now how much grateful I am for all that time, energy and money I gave away while doing my research. 

I visited places, which have brought along the most beautiful memories, nobody can ever steal that from me. I met so many wonderful people while traveling and doing my field  surveys, some of whom I became very close to. It even opened me to traveling in general, to not be afraid of unknow, to learn more about myself and last but not least - it gave me a very specific perspective of looking at the world around me, which I really like. 

All of these things would never happened if I did not enroll to my study programe. Of course, it also cost me a lot of money, a lot of effort which was partialy wasted, but that is all just about the point of view, priorities,  right?
...what is more important - money or friends and wonderful experience I've got? 

Althought I've decided to fight until the very last moment, I know very well, that if there's no miracle coming my way soon, I won't make it. I won't earn the doctorate from Human Geography in the future, I reckon. 

But I am ok with that now, because I know I am a human geographer anyway.

james knows...

Everything feels like touchdown on a rainy day…

The great mix of sense of  a glow, alienation, victory, happiness,... so much of a contradiction ..

My heart giving a slap to my brain in one moment and the brain striking back in the next... Lots of dirtiness around being washed by the rain of spotlessness and naivety. 

All over again and again…

Never ending feeling of a touchdown on a rainy day.

the last memorable highlight ....

...was the presence of this foxy lady

???Summer nightmare???

I am going to visit Copenhagen, Gothenburg, Vienna, Rome, Dublin and Berlin in the next two months.

Tame Impala are on their european tour in this time period and I won't be able to see their gig in any of these cities...!!!!!!!The same for Woodkid and James Blake...!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Bummer!!!!!!! I'd call it "when-your-timing-sucks summer"....

Are there still walls...?

where a commecial ad should not be put on?

Milano, Duomo

could you, please, explain me?

What is that part of men's nature that makes them think a woman is someone who is only capable of taking minutes, translating documents, just simply doing all the work they would not bother with?

What is that stupid part of women's nature that makes us persuaded, that we cannot (shouldnt) fight for ourselves and deep deep inside makes us go with what our mothers once told us - always be NICE?

Those two questions are based on my recent personal research among my friends and co-workers. I am not complaining, I am simply asking for explanation.

Apparently, most of the men I know are not aware of their modus operandi until I explain and describe it...same thing with women..
So after I'd seen them all nodding and confirming what I was talking about, I had to ask> what does make us behave these ways?

The answer could be - it is the place we live in. The countries of western Europe are much more developed in the respect of gender equality issues. Are they? Truly? I think so. Even though the process of gender equalization's started there as an imposed one, it was simply a qestion of a law acceptance ...a law which became natural to people  after while, I guess.

Well, I have been waiting here..., the law addressing gender equality was implemented  three years ago in Czech and I cant see even  a slight improvement, not at all.


Sitting with 18 people (5 women) people in the room the other day. I had the opportunity to observe, how do men react on the gender inequality issues in this country.
As one of them was asking for cooperation in the project which would attract more women to the environmental research, a half of the men in that room started laughing... some of them said that there was no benefit of having more women in that particular field of research ....And  women? They were sitting there, being ....all NICE...

I have this kind of experience on daily basis. I am not saying I know the solution. I want to say only one thing. Men should once try to find out more about what are the obstacles for women to get our dream jobs, dream results, our dream salaries and dream reputation.

It can be very easily you, gentlemen!

gah

I wanna go out and see the SUN! Streets flourishing and parks being all green.

Wanna hear birds singing when I  wake up in the morning. Ride my bike and watch guys being all axcited as they look  at the girls wearing short skirts again.

Wanna take care of my small garden on the balcony, drink my morning cup of coffee there and feel the midday sun warming every inch of my body. 

Wanna sit on the patio of my fav café with my friends all night and complain about this summer to be way too hot.

Two days ago, I said to my friend:"Ok, that's it. If I see another snowflake again, I am going to move out of this country"

Here I am, after two days of constant snowing, trying to chose a new place I wanna live in....

Why perspective matters...

.....especially when it's snowing heavily

While waiting for the green light at the crosswalk a homeless woman approached me.

She said:"What a weather, huh"?

I, being in a very good mood, replied: Yes, it's awesome, right???!"

"You should try to sleep outdoors" she said...

...and what about your sankalpa?

I am back. Rather, my body is back, my mind is still floating above the water table  of the holy Ganga River.

Well, I've had one of the best times in my life indeed...

For me, Rishikesh is one of the most remarkable places I've ever visited. Not for the amazing scenery, cheap yoga stuff, tasty food, fresh juices or incredibly good ayurvedic massages...Those are things I could find in many other places in the world, I guess... The very rare thing that Rishikesh can be proud of, is the omnipresent peacefulness. Something what seems to be appearing less and less around the globe...

"No meat, no alcohol law" is the thing which makes this place so appealing for living. I am not saying that there is no meat and alcohol at all, I only say that the calm streets (calm in the Indian way) of Rishikesh give you the impression that people and nature coexist in a perfect balance here. The way people treat all those animals living around (even those often aggressive monkeys) is just awesome! Moreover, watching those animals to live their life is one of the most relaxing things I've done in ages...

I've spent a very short time here, time in which you cannot really decide whether a place is a good for life or not. I feel I could live here forever though...

One thing I can be sure of is that I was given the best lectures on yoga practicing I could get. I've got what I came for. I am more than grateful for that, especially since I know that many other people who came to Rishikesh for the same purpose ended up to be very disappointed. I am not talking only about the complexity my daily program had, but much more about the motivation and inspiration it gave me in general. Even though I am still far away from becoming a real yogi, I feel like I am a small step further on my way and that counts.

There is one thing I wasn't that much aware of before I left home.

Love.

All those people I've met in India were literally "packed" with love. I will never forget about them, I know that, I feel that, I am sure about that... I had never experienced something like that before, it was so overwhelming...
I am an Aquarius, I know, I tend to idealize things. But as I reckon, sometimes, my idealism can be a true gift. Maybe I just needed to feel love all around so I took as much of it as I could...But more likely, Rishikesh is a very special place, because I was not the only one who felt it...

To all those people who are complaining that there is no more any authenticity of yoga in Rishikesh...

I'd like to remind you that the very essential feature of a spiritual life can be only found by turning inward. If you look for something like that, stop using your senses, stop looking for something external and realize that there is only one place where everything can be found...

I felt so much of a positive energy in the last day of my staying. I was a bit sad about leaving all those amazing people behind and coming back home though...

I decided to go by a taxi to Delhi, not to fly... It is a 230 km-long way which took us 10 hours. Yes, hard to believe that, but this is India, people, cars and trash everywhere. The journey was tough, but the dust, smog, busy traffic and driving in the Delhi's highway opposite traffic line are not even mentionable...

The journey could be simply described as an "Indian misery packed in 10-hour-long drive" for different reasons...
I won’t  support this romantic image about traveling in India we often have.
Yes, you may come back with awesome pictures full of colors, smiling people and cheeky monkeys, but it is just a little part of the story, isn't it?

I was full of positive thoughts, full of energy when I was closing the door of my room in Rishikesh for the last time. At the very beginning of that journey, I promised myself to look at the scenery in the positive way and try to focus on nice things around. But you simply cannot neglect it. You cannot force yourself not to see what is out there, behind the windows of your fancy taxi car.

When you are someone who was studying development studies, you can get a picture in advance, you know it might be harsh...But there is nothing like being prepared for that. You just have to see it with your own eyes. ...And be sure, you won't wash it away with your tears. Forget about that.

What I have seen during those 10 hours? Do you know those touristic ads Incredible India? Well, I have seen incredible India. So incredible that it could be very unpleasant to see it for some people from the developed countries, I am sure about that. We often close our eyes because we don’t want to see that this world is interconnected to such an extent that somehow we are part of this Indian misery, we are contributing to it. I contribute to it too and that make me sad. But is it enough of sadness to start doing something about it?

There is no point in describing it. I only wish everyone could go and spend at least those 10 hours there. I would be so happy if we all could start to think more about our lives, change our perspective...

We are human beings; we have the chance to decide about our lives, to do it in a very smart way, consider other human beings, their needs and give love as well as receive it... This kind of perspective I am talking about.

I met an amazing man in Delhi, who is a photographer and he said something what I still have to think about. He said: "I take photos of people's decadence; I wanna show how bad we can be". Isn't it obvious, omnipresent wherever we look? Why somebody has to remind us by taking photos of it ? And why it is so hard to rather start looking for the loving creatures in us in the first place?

It happens to me. I am always over-emotinal when I come back either from Kyrgyzstan or India. It will fade away...but I wish I could keep it forever and contribute somehow to this world becoming a better world. Idealism? No. I just believe in us. Because if you look at our thoughts, it doesn't matter where you live, LA or Rishikesh. We all have the same simple wish.

ॐ सर्वे भवन्तु सुखिन , सर्वे सन्तु निरामया, सर्वे भद्राणि पश्यन्तु, मा कश्चिद्दुःखभाग्भवेत्, ॐ शान्तिः शान्तिः शान्ति

I recommend this as it was recommended to me before:-)

http://www.guardian.co.uk/books/2008/sep/20/fiction

This feels like being home...Is it even possible?

honestly...

This year's started with the accurate amount of honesty of mine...As a result, I quit the job I didn´t like at all and I fall asleep alone. Yep, again. Except that this time, it's exactly what I wanted and needed. Being all happy that at the very end I was so well understood, I think of....
...What's a single, thirty-year-old girl (almost!) looking forward to better times to do?

Airtickets in my pocket, visa arranged. Cannot wait to sit on the Ganga's riverside again... ~ 

Almost would forget...
As for the presidential elections... Did I acted as a sheeple? No.
I did have a strategy, yes, but it doesn't neccessarily mean that my vote contributed to this democracy's  denial everybody's now talking about. I  perceived the possible chance of Zeman sitting in the Prague Castle as the biggest threat to our democracy, as a matter of fact. ..that' s why I voted with my head and not with my heart!...

~

Gosh, I think of this place way too much...I should come back some day soon...
 

Schiermonnikoog island 2010